Spy exclusive: the rundown on Trump's convention

While you were getting fried on a beach somewhere (and getting sunburned too), the Spy's crack political team was hard at work scooping the world on plans for Trump's upcoming coronation in Cleveland.  They managed to get their hands on the schedule of events for the convention's first day, and what can we say except that it's big.  Really really big.  It's so big you'll be tired of its bigness before it's over, as Trump's PR team never ceases to tell us.

But why take John Barron's word for it when you can check it out for yourself:

So pull up a chair America and open up that bag of cheddar-flavored Trumpos.  You haven't seen anything as loud or as spectacular as this convention since Independence Day 2.