Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Bush family shocked by GOP indifference to their snub

By David Bloviator
Political Editor

CLEVELAND, Ohio – This year's Republican Convention is missing a lot of things: a candidate they can rally around, a professionally-managed campaign, the semblance of a program to take to the country, boozy receptions paid for by big corporations, and non-white delegates.  But there's one absence that no one cares about: the Bush family.

The elder Bush is said to be disgusted by the blatantly
racist appeals of the current Republican nominee
Still smarting from the temerity of an electorate that rejected Jeb Bush's rightful ascension to the White House in favor of a tangerine-faced grifter with no qualifications other than his ability to run businesses into the ground and serially roger Slavic “models,” the entire Bush family, including two former Presidents and one former candidate, have stayed home, sulking in their tents like Achilles, if Achilles had dodged the draft.

While Jeb worked up the energy to commission a column in the Washington Post containing the usual empty smears of Hillary Clinton leading to the conclusion that he wouldn't vote for either party's nominee, his younger brother, George, said nothing, preferring to remain on his cattle-free “ranch” to finish his series of 50 paintings of his toes.

Sources close to the Bush family describe how shocked they were to find out that the Republican Party intended to carry on without them.  They say the Bushes don't recognize what happened to their Grand Old Party.

The elder Bush is said to be gobsmacked by the blatant bigotry and race-baiting on display in Cleveland.   John Sununu, formerly Poppy Bush's Clerk of the Works, explained “Of course, Bush used racist tactics by making sure that everyone knew that Willy Horton was black, but that was a subtle, indirect way of appealing to racists.”

“As President Bush always told me, just because you don't let Negroes in your club doesn't mean you have to put a Whites Only sign out front.  That's just not done,” Sununu said.

The second President Bush is equally disappointed with the goings on inside the GOP.   “He can't believe that the Republicans are actually going to nominate a man who doesn't believe that America won a brilliant victory in Iraq,” said former occupation authority mouthpiece Dan Senor, in Cleveland as a member of the New York delegation.

You won't see the 2016 nominee touching a peon
The younger Bush is also said to be discouraged by the negative tone of the Convention.  “At the 2004 GOP Convention, President Bush was proud of the positive tone he set by not letting a single delegate take the podium,” Senor said.  This allowed the false Swift Boat attacks against his opponent John Kerry to circulate freely among party activists without attracting the kind of media criticism that is proving so damaging to the snarling rich man's son in the fright wig, Senor explained.

Only Barbara Bush is said to be taking the breach in stride. “I wouldn't let most of the Trump people into my home anyway, so letting them run around in Cleveland should work very well for them, ” she said.

But the chasm separating the Bush dynasty from today's Republican Party goes deeper than petty disputes about deporting 11,000,000 people or the wisdom of invading a country that had nothing to do with 9/11, according to former Bush liege Josh Bolten. “The real issue is that the Bushes believe that the nation and the Republican Party should be led by the right people, who went to the right schools, if you catch my drift,” Bolten said.

When it was pointed out to Bolten, a Princeton grad, that Donald Trump did in fact graduate from an Ivy League school, he chortled drily: “Penn?  An Ivy League school?  I don't think so.”

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