Broken News: What Those Responsible Serious Republicans Are Up To Now

By Meta-Content Generator A.J. Liebling and
Legal Correspondent Saori Shiroseki

Arguably the press coverage that led with

may have underplayed the story a little, but the announcement that a corrupt sex offender and Russian agent had finally been indicted for at least a tasting menu of his crimes seemed to take some people rather by surprise.

We call these people “Republicans.” To a man, and that's what they mostly are, they condemned an indictment they hadn't read backed by evidence they hadn't seen as the greatest miscarriage of justice since the last time a white man faced some sort of reckoning for his misdeed, which would have been the January 2021 Impeachment II of that same Queens man.

Whether out of fear of offending the indicted leader of their Grand Old Party, or the willingness to destroy the rule of law to advance their own selfish ends, the response of supposedly prominent Republicans was to throw s*** at the walls and see what stuck.

Here's billionaire finagler Glenn Youngkin's thoughtful measured response:

Glenn Youngkin seeks fairness – for Trump!

“It is beyond belief,” raged Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin, that Bragg “has indicted a former President and current presidential candidate for pure political gain.”

The careful reader will note that Youngkin’s complaint is not simply that the indictment itself is flimsy. That is not what makes the charges “political.” Rather, it’s that Trump was indicted at all. 

Keep in mind that this guy hasn't seen the evidence or read the charges.  That would never have happened in his prior gig as CEO of Carlyle, a huge slush fund of finagler money (excuse me, one of America's largest and most respected private-equity investors).  Do you think Carlyle would invest one dime without reading the term sheet and going through mountains of due diligence?  For the sake of their investors, we hope not.  

Sounds kinda extreme if not unhinged.  You would think that America's media would have warned us about someone with views this extreme, perhaps through their beloved deep reporting.

What were they saying about this raving plutocrat when he was running for Governor of Virginia two years ago?

Back then, The Washington Post was singing a more soothing tune:

But Youngkin, a wealthy political newcomer, may benefit from a political climate similar to the one that helped win the governorship for Republican Bob McDonnell in 2009, the last time the GOP triumphed statewide in Virginia.

McDonnell capitalized on a backlash against a newly elected Democratic president — Barack Obama....

Youngkin, 54, who was raised in Virginia Beach and now lives in Great Falls, appears to be an effective retail campaigner who is comfortable onstage. With a personal fortune estimated at $254 million from a career that lifted him to co-CEO of the large, D.C.-based Carlyle Group investment firm, he has plenty of money for ads and field operations.

Because we all know that one of the most important qualities a political leader must have is being comfortable onstage.  Just ask President Vanna White.

We couldn't find any other example of well-respected media outlets handing out comforting platitudes about reactionary Republicans now attempting to obstruct justice and undermining the rule of law. 

Just kidding.  Here's mainstream Republican Mother Pence now (again commenting on an unissued indictment):

“The unprecedented indictment of a former president of the United States on a campaign finance issue is an outrage,” former Vice President Mike Pence told CNN.

Mike Pence speaks out

It's only unprecedented because Ford pardoned Dick Nixon about two steps of the Watergate Special Prosecutor's grand jury, which didn't look good at the time and looks worse now.

And here's two of The New York Times's leading gasbags (Jeremy Peters and Nick Fandos) after the 2016 election: 

He is all the things Donald J. Trump could not be. A career public servant who has served in Congress and run a state. A hero to conservatives who adore his strong Christian faith and resistance to the country’s rapid social liberalization. A disciplined messenger who keeps his opinions from erupting on Twitter. 

How much influence Gov. Mike Pence of Indiana, the vice president-elect, will have in a Trump White House is unknown, especially given Mr. Trump’s habit of consulting a wide circle of formal and informal advisers and then ultimately doing as he pleases. 

But given how deep mistrust of Mr. Trump runs — not only from Democrats but also from elected officials in his own party who said he was unfit to become president — Mr. Pence, 57, could become the administration figure who offers a measure of comfort in what is sure to be a highly uncertain and chaotic time.

Yeah, it worked out just like that.  

So many mainstream Republicans, so little time.  Nikki Haley, who once had the odious job of flacking for Pres U Bum at the United Nations, joins the chat:

A day earlier, former Gov. Nikki Haley of South Carolina, Mr. Trump’s most prominent official challenger so far, suggested the indictment was politically motivated, writing on Twitter, “This is more about revenge than it is about justice.”

Maybe wait until you at least know what he is charged with and what evidence the DA has?  That would probably be the more constructive choice and would allow her to campaign with her dignity largely intact.  

Speaking of which, the same New York Times summed up her hideous performance flacking for Pres U Bum at the United Nations, where the country she represented was laughed at by the entire world: 

In an administration that prizes lock-step loyalty, Ms. Haley managed to hold to at least some of her own priorities, and as a result she appears to be that rarest of Trump appointees: one who can exit the administration with her dignity largely intact....Ms. Haley, who is expected to pursue the presidency one day, may eventually find herself having to defend facilitating some of President Trump’s worst policies and instincts. But she will also be able to point to more constructive roles she played. Indeed, a replacement in her mold may be the best to hope for from Mr. Trump. 

In fairness to the Times's loathsome Editorial Board, they at least admitted the possibility that she would debase herself and shred her dignity and credibility by kowtowing to the Tangerine-Faced Defendant. 

We'll serve up one more moderate mainstream Republican before we start chugging Pepto.  A graduate of Yale Law School would certainly understand the need to temper their comments until they knew what the charges and the evidence were.  Looks like Criminal Procedure is yet another subject not worthy of being taught at that cutting-edge institution:

 

He came in pretty hot.  You would think that a conservative intellectual who champions individual responsibility (like for the consequences of one's own criminal conduct) would champion the rule of law, or at least you would think that if you read The Washington Post 1,000 year ago (well, 2016):

From the perspective of a conservative, Vance paints a depressing picture of a proud, but broken, people: the cycle of dependency, the near total lack of personal responsibility, rising domestic violence, declining church attendance, laziness, etc. ...  (Reading the book inspired me to travel to his hollowed-out hometown of Middletown, Ohio, for an October big idea about how Trump really could win the election.)

J.D. Vance just wants to serve his beloved Ohioians

Rather than just collect royalty checks and give TED talks, Vance wants to do something to deal with these afflictions.

He is currently looking to re-settle from California to either Columbus or Cincinnati. His San Diego-born wife has gotten onboard, and he thinks their two dogs will adjust well.
He is filing paperwork to set up a new nonprofit group, a 501(c)(4), called “Our Ohio Renewal.”
He is scheduled to speak at about a dozen Lincoln Day dinners for county-level Republican chapters around the state in the next three months.
He recently lectured at The Ohio State University and plans to visit other campuses around the Buckeye State soon....

“.... Vance said in an interview. “The plan is to go all-in on Ohio. One of the things that concerns me is that so few people who go and get an education elsewhere … feel any real … pull for returning home. I don’t think the answer is for everyone who grows up in Middletown to come back. But we do owe something to the community.” 

In fairness, later Washington Post reporting did recount Vance's transformation from the Socrates of Butcher Holler to just another tongue-bather fighting for space in Trump's taint.  But the pre-2021 idolization of this cynical Thiel-backed narcissist didn't prepare the innocent or even the Ohio voter from the insanity and subversion Vance now exhibits.

What's the point?

The point is that any Republican who today supports Trump's campaign to escape justice and break the rule of law was never moderate, reasonable, thoughtful, or courageous.

Covering opportunistic subversive Republicans as anything but the anti-patriotic trash they are is not objective journalism.  It is wishful thinking, and its effects on the reputations of supposedly great newspapers and a democracy teetering at the brink of destruction are calamitous.