Wednesday, September 27, 2017

In re Petition of Jennifer Rubin for Readmission to the Human Race

MR. JUSTICE GONZO, presiding

Comes now petitioner Jennifer Rubin, columnist for The Washington Post and apparently retired Likud Party mouthpiece, seeking readmission to the human race on the grounds that since January 20, 2017, she has pretty much every single morning torn President U Bum a new one.

Just today she thundered: “President Trump wants to talk about the NFL because other than that, there’s virtually no topic he can address without reminding his followers of the most dreadful week of his presidency.”

The previous day she launched this 75mm shell: “Trump delights in talking about divisive culture issues that stir racist sentiments in his base. If only he had spent half the time and energy condemning neo-Nazis, one of whom allegedly killed a woman, as he did blasting a silent exercise of First Amendment rights, his poll ratings might not be in the cellar.”  The emphasis was hers.

The day before she sent this rocket up: “Republicans remain entirely oblivious to the popular rancor they have stirred up. Do they imagine no one will notice that Trump and his ilk will wind up with big tax breaks, which exacerbate income inequality and drive up the debt? The mentality that brought us multiple health-care plans that cut Medicaid spending and cut taxes for the very, very rich persists.”

If the current Mrs. Bibi gets hard time, look for
Petitioner to make her move
As that quote demonstrates, she not only slices the Grifter-in-Chief into orange shreds often several times a day, she lays bare the hypocrisy and mendacity that is today's Republican Party.  And she's the conservative columnist for The Washington Post, or at least the one that still has some higher cognitive functioning left.

With columns like that you could almost forget why she was drummed out of the human race.  Let us set the Waybac for the era when the President of the United States was a brilliant, impassioned moral leader and force for good in the world.  It's almost hard to believe, isn't it?

And what did Petitioner Jennifer Rubin think of President Obama?  As no one will remember, not much.  Here's a representative sample from a hit job entitled “The country has had it with Obama.”

First, it seemed the wheels were coming off the bus internationally. Our people were murdered in Benghazi, Libya. Iraq crumbled. Then Libya crumbled, again. The Islamic State conquered vast stretches of territory. Russia grabbed part of Ukraine. Israel and the United States fought while Iran inched closer to getting the bomb. Our Sunni allies publicly lashed out at the administration. China pressed its advantage.
Now the wheels, which were none too secure here at home, are spinning off in every direction on the domestic side. President Obama got caught flat-footed on Ebola. His 2012 executive move on immigration set off a border crisis. The president then doubled down and created a firestorm with an immigration overreach so vast and unprecedented that it surpassed any act of executive brazenness since Watergate . . . .

The sad irony is that the one thing Republicans hoped that Obama (no red states, no blue states, etc.) could do [Name three – Ed.] — help reduce racial tensions and be an example of racial progress — he is now singularly unable to do. Virtually everything he says or does inflames and aggravates multiple segments of society. It is not that in the specific cases of Eric Garner or Michael Brown he did anything all that provocative. [Mighty white of you, Jennifer – Ed.]  To the contrary, he tried to walk a very thin line. Rather, it is because in the six preceding years he chose to govern as a vicious partisan, jamming through his signature issue on strict party lines with a legislative gimmick and constantly taking delight (most recently in the immigration context) in sticking it to his opponents instead of brokering deals (e.g. the grand bargain he threw away). Forget about governing; he can no longer coexist amicably with Congress or even many members of his own party.

His rhetoric and actions did not cause these recent racial incidents, but they come in a context he certainly created [He created white racism? – Ed.]. (The Washington Post, December 4, 2014)

We don't intend to relitigate each preposterous whopper contained in those paragraphs although relying on the dismay of our “Sunni allies” struck us as particularly hilarious at the time and even more in retrospect, now that our staunch Sunni allies have turned their attention to threatening Qatar for allowing some semblance of the a free press.  Not to mention that in the ninth month of the U Bum Regime, the whining about “executive brazenness” and legislative gimmicks seems almost quaint.

What was really getting Petitioner's tzitzis in a tizzy wasn't immigration or health care or the Battle of Benghazi.  It was that Obama dared to question the eternal wisdom of the man Jennifer Rubin thought should rule the United States:  the thus-far-unindicted Bibi Netanyahu.  You may recall that President Obama successfully turned aside Iran's nuclear ambitions by offering to give Iran back its own money, which sounded like a pretty good deal to us. Not to Jennifer's King and Shield of Abraham.

Rubin's most damning attack on President Obama was therefore that he dared to disagree with Netanyahu:
President Obama’s effort to put “daylight” between the U.S. and Israel, his personal pique frequently displayed toward Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, his ambush of Netanyahu with the “1967 borders” speech,  . . . 
The Washington Post, June 13, 2016.

Pretty uppity of Obama to dare to disagree with a real President who ordered American forces to attack Iran while he paved the West Bank with settlements, thus joining Palestinian dead-enders in a successful torpedo attack on the peace process!

We could cite examples ad nauseam, but it would make us nauseous.  And we think the point is made.  Petitioner's effort to rejoin the human race on the basis of her rational opinions adopted on or after January 20, 2017 is hereby DENIED.  She remains banished to a swampland of hellish fire and toxic smoke and gas, populated by grotesque half-human-half-turtle monsters who kill and maim with impunity.  You and Petitioner know it as Washington, D.C.

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